The Dissapearing Fox of Death
by Grenfell
Summary: Three Divine beings have had enough of watching a child they had touched be abused, so they decided to send their agents to his aid. The Angel of Death rides once more, alongside an omnipresent cat, all to assure the safety and happiness of a blonde Fox. Strong/Naruto (not god-like) Yaoi.
1. Agents Arrival

**A/N Grenfell here, I have decided to play around with this story idea in some downtime between life and writing my Uzu story, so I'm not entirely sure how this one will shape out. This will be a strong Naruto story and it is a three-way pairing of Walter/Naruto/Schrödinger. Beyond this I hope people enjoy this product of my mad imagination.**

 **"Grenfell does not own Naruto or Hellsing"**

* * *

 _7 years after the Kyuubi attack_

 **Konohagakure**

 _'Why, why, leave me alone!'_ were the thoughts of a young seven year old Uzumaki Naruto. Ever since he was kicked out of the orphanage a two years ago, he had been chased around and beaten by drunken villagers. Tonight was simply another night in hell for the young Uzumaki, as he found himself running into another corner. He prepared for the usual beating, knowing that soon he would be waking up in the hospital once again, to find the Old Man just looking down at him from a chair sadly. The villagers began to slowly approach the boy, with sick grins etched upon their faces.

 **Afterlife**

 **"That. is. IT!"** shouted a heavenly voice. The voice belonged a beautiful young woman with snow white hair, tan skin and pure white eyes. She wore extravagant white robes with gold lining.

Next to her was what appeared to be her exact opposite. This woman had black hair, pale skin, and pitch black eyes. She wore extravagant black robes with red lining.

Finally across from both of these figures, stood the Shinigami, purple face etched into a frown as he stared down at the child being beaten.

 **"I agree sister dear."** The black haired being stated, **"And I have just the agent in mind to fix this issue, The betrayer, who regrets."**

The white haired being nodded slowly, **"He would certainly be able to protect him but the child needs something more, what about, The loyal cat?"**

Before the black haired being could give a response the Shinigami reached a hand into his stomach, **"Just shut up you two, I'll give both the souls over for this job, there will be conditions however."** The Divine being looked slightly shocked, _**'usually he is rather apathetic towards human suffering, I wonder if it has to do with the seal.'**_ they thought to themselves before eagerly nodding.

 **"Their lives will be bound to the boy's, they will only remember their; skills, personality, and mission. Lastly you two can not use them to influence your own will on creation, agreed?"** The Shinigami stated as he drew out two bright round orbs from his stomach.

The white haired deity quickly nodded affirmatively, while her dark haired counterpart seemed to be struggling for a second before sighing, **"I promise not to use the agent to enforce my will."**

The Shinigami nodded and made sure to allow his counterparts an opportunity to alter the souls for the agreed conditions and to make sure they would be equipped enough to handle the immediate situation. Finally he thrust the souls through the mirror and prepared to watch his newest form of entertainment as his work was protected.

 **Konohagakure**

Naruto found himself nailed to a cross with kunai stuck through both his hands. A villager slowly began to approach with a small oil can in his hand, "You are going to burn now Demon, I hope it is painful." the man stated.

Just as the man was about to pour the oil on the beaten seven year old, Naruto could see a small glint pass through the air right before the man's hand fell off, spraying blood all over the young Uzumaki. The man screamed as a youthful, slightly insane laugh could be heard from the other end of the alley.

At the end of the alley stood two black clad figures. The one on the left was 5' 1'' and appeared to be wearing the traditional Konoha Chunin attire, colored black with a black beret eschewed on his blonde hair, "Zat vas zimply magnificent Butler!" the young blonde stated as his magenta eyes stared at the crucified child darkly.

On the right side was a pale skinned black haired young man standing at 5' 10''. He wore a black colored Chunin attire that appeared to have a pair of cloth strips tailing out behind him. He was wearing black fingerless gloves and was smoking a lit cigarette. Behind him Naruto noticed slight glints every time one of his fingers twitched, "Keep talking cat and I'll take your fuckin' head next, understood?"

"Oh my, ver is all zis 'ostility coming from Butl.." The blonde boy started before a glint etched across his neck. To the shock of the previously stunned mob the black haired boy had carried out his threat as the blonde haired boy fell to the ground, his head rolling towards them.

"You, boy! Just who are you, and what are you doing here?!" shouted one particularly brave villager.

The young man stared at the mob hatefully as he took a drag on his cigarette. He slowly tightened his fingerless gloves onto his hands and flicked his wrists, "I don't have to explain myself to child beating trash like yourselves."

Naruto watched as the glinting wires began taking apart the mob, quickly making quick work of the bigoted villagers. Before he knew it he felt someone trying to remove the Kunai in his left hand, looking over he received an even bigger shock.

"Vow zey really got theze things stuck in here, ya?" The formerly dead blonde questioned as he tugged on the kunai.

Naruto stared back in shock, forgetting about his pain as he stuttered, "Y... y.. you were dead!" he shouted as he looked towards where the young boy's body lay, only to find it mysteriously missing, "W.. what?"

The blonde smirked to himself, "I am everyvhere and novhere." he stated as he finally removed the kunai and gently set Naruto against the alley's wall.

As the black haired teen approached, Naruto couldn't help but ask, "Jus.. just who are you two, why are you helping me?"

The blonde jumped into his face, slightly scaring the Uzumaki, "I am ze cat that can go anywhere, Schrödinger!" he shouted, right before he was kicked away by the black haired one's boot.

The teen stared down at Naruto with what appeared to be pity, before taking another drag on his cigarette and flicking it to the ground, "fucking cat." he muttered, "Anyways, I am Walter C. Dolneiz, also known as the Butler or the Angel of Death."

the now named Walter took out another cigarette to smoke on as he explained the situation to the best of his ability, "All I know is that when we appeared, I felt the need to protect you and I assume the same can be said for the fucking cat over there." Naruto looked to see Schrödinger nodding his head emphatically.

Naruto was about to speak more before the pain that his body was in made itself known once more. As he winced a shadow descended upon the trio, "Do you mind telling me, why your are surrounded by the bodies of my villagers and why you are standing in front of a hurt Naruto-kun." questioned an elderly voice.

Walter looked up to see an elderly man wearing a white and red robe with a similarly colored hat on his head, flanking him were 4 masked figures wearing black, hooded robes.

Naruto saw Walter's fingers begin to twitch and quickly spoke up to stop his new friends from being hurt, "Wai.. Wait Jiji, these two helped me!" he gasped out, the pain in his chest making it difficult.

Sarutobi Hiruzen looked down at the injured boy sadly, _'if the culprits for his condition weren't these two then it was most likely the villagers, I truly have failed you Minato."_

Hiruzen, "Tora, Neko, please take Naruto-kun to the hospital for treatment, guard him until he is better." The named ANBU quickly nodded as they utilized **Shunshin** to grab Naruto and move off to the hospital.

"And where the fuck do you think you are taking the kid, geezer?" Walter asked agitatedly.

The old Hokage looked down at the belligerent teen with a slight smile, "Naruto-kun needed medical attention, we are ensuring he gets it." he explained, "Now if you two would please follow me to my office, I have some questions to ask you regarding your association with Naruto."

Walter frowned but slowly nodded.

Hiruzen was happy at the young man accepted and looked to address the blonde. However, as he looked around he could find no trace of the boy, "Where did your friend go?" he questioned.

Sarutobi could hear the growl that emanated from the black haired teen, "That fucking cat is not my goddamned friend." he stated before taking a drag on his cigarette to calm down, "and he likely went to visit Naruto, he will most likely meet up with us at your office."

Hiruzen briefly wondered how the young boy would find his office but shrugged, figuring he could send an ANBU for him later.

 **Hokage Tower**

As the Hokage and Walter walked into the older man's office they were met with Schrödinger playing with his beret, cat like ears twitching from on top of his head. Hiruzen could feel his jaw drop as he began wondering how the cat like boy, had gotten past his security, while Walter merely face palmed at the stupidity of his colleague.

"H...how?" he questioned.

Schrödinger chuckled, "I am everyvhere and novhere" As he laughed at his own joke, he quickly found his head falling off his shoulders again.

Hiruzen stared in shock as the blood began to cover his desk, before glaring angrily at the teen next to him, "Why on earth did you just kill that boy?" he began to question, his killing intent flooding the room.

Walter stared blankly at the Hokage, barely affected by his killing intent as he pointed behind the Kage.

Hiruzen was confused by the gesture before he heard it, "Vould you stop slicing off my head! It really hurtz" stated the heavily accented voice.

Sarutobi quickly spun around to see the previously dead boy whistling innocently behind him. He looked back at his desk only to see it perfectly clean, not a single speck of blood on it's surface.

The old Kage quickly grabbed his pipe and took a few calming puffs on it, "I swear, that child is going to be the death of me. Now would you two please tell me what you are doing here and why you rescued Naruto-kun?"

Walter and Schrödinger shared a look, "We don't know how we got here, we just appeared and had an overwhelming desire to help the boy." Walter calmly stated.

Hiruzen stared at the two intently before finally sighing, "You don't appear to be lying, but we shall have a Yamanaka check your mind to be sure." As he received two hesitant nods he continued, "If everything checks out then I would like to assign you two as shinobi under my command, with the express mission of guarding Naruto-kun, is this acceptable?"

Schrödinger instantly began nodding his head. Walter on the other hand appeared to be thinking it over, "Will we be paid as well?" he questioned.

The Sandaime nodded, "You will receive the equivalent of a C rank mission pay every week, so long as he is safe, which should be more than enough for you to live off of."

Walter nodded his head, "Very well, I think we have living arrangements taken care of already, so long as this shit hold sells cigarettes, I should be fine here."

Hiruzen chuckled, knowing how aggravating a lack of nicotine could be. He tossed the two young men Konoha hita-ates, "I officially welcome you to the Konoha Shinobi Force, usually you would have to go through the academy, especially at your age, but you appear to be skilled enough already and you will be working directly under me rather than within the shinobi system itself."

Walter simply nodded as he tied the headband to his left arm.

Schrödinger tied his to his right arm before something caught his attention, "Vait, vait, vait. Did you zay Shinobi? zis is soo cool, ve get to be ninjaz Butler. Izn't zat awesome?!" he began to rant into the aggravated teen's ear.

"Why don't you go bug Naruto, while I go set up our sleeping arrangements, eh Cat." he stated as his finger's started to twitch, _'I really want to decapitate him again, but we should really make sure the kid is alright.'_

 **Konoha Hospital**

As Naruto rested on a bed in his hospital room, deep within the recesses of his mind an enormous, single red eye opened from behind a long line of metal bars, **"So that damned Cat and the Traitor are here, well I suppose the following years just might provide a bit of entertainment."** a malicious sounding voice echoed as it let out an insane cackle.

* * *

 **A/N Alright, so let me say that I'm am not entirely a fan of including divine beings, especially when they are barely defined in the universe that I am working with, so with that in mind, this is the last we shall be seeing of all of them (at least until Shinigami is summoned again). As for the two characters having the gear they do, simply put Divine being did it to make them fit in better while still being comfortable. Again this is more a side project, though if people really enjoy it I may put more time into it.**

 **I hope you enjoyed the story!**


	2. The Death of a Fox

**A/N "Grenfell does not own Naruto or Hellsing"**

* * *

 **Konohagakure**

Naruto slowly woke up, once again, in a familiar hospital bed. This pattern had repeated itself enough that the higher ups in the hospital had reserved a room specifically for him. Has he became aware of his surroundings, he noticed a warm pressure against his chest and side. As he looked down, he noticed a pair of blond ears sticking out of a blonde head. Not thinking much of a 'cat' lying against him, Naruto absentmindedly scratched the cat behind the ears.

The figure purred and began to move itself around, "Nya.. Naruto-kun, ze ears are sensitive, nyah." The accented voice complained.

The talking coming from the cat quickly woke Naruto fully up as he jumped out of the bed, landing hard on his backside, "Ooow," he began as he stared at the mischievous face of his blonde haired savior, "W..what were you doing in my bed -ttebane!?"

His shouted question attracted the attention of the ANBU guards outside of his room. As they burst into the room, they quickly spotted the blonde cat-man and prepared to attack, "Vait, vait! Ze Hokage vetted me zi?" Schrödinger stated as he held up his hands in surrender and gestured to the Konoha hitai-ate strapped to his left arm.

The ANBU studied the hitai-ate for a moment before nodding and returning to their posts.

"And why were you in my bed?" Naruto repeated, still slightly angry at his personal space being invaded.

Schrödinger smiled good naturedly, "Vell, I vanted to come check on ya after ve spoke to ze Hokage, but vhen I arrived, you just looked so warm and peaceful, so I decided to take a vittle cat nap while I vaited for you to vake up." he explained like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Naruto stared back at the odd cat, "Uh, huh.. wait what happened to the black haired guy?"

Schrödinger pouted, "Vell, ze Butler decided to prepare your apartment, zeeing as how ve are living vith you now." he replied somewhat flippantly.

Naruto stared at him in shock, "What do you mean, you will be living with me?!"

"Vell, we had no vhere else to go really, and ze Hokage agreed to let us stay here. All ve have to do, is ensure zi little Naru's safety."

Schrödinger watched as Naruto raced out of the hospital in a panic. He simply sighed as his body faded away.

Naruto arrived at his apartment in record time. Just as he opened the door Naruto was met with an amazingly clean room. Over in the kitchen, he could see the black haired Walter, smoking while he dried a now clean plate.

"You know, Runt that your place was a serious pig sty." Walter said as he placed the plate into a cabinet.

Naruto quickly grew angry at the mark against both his size and his cleanliness, "Hey who do you think you are! It's not my fault that stupid people make a mess of the apartment. And I'm not a runt damnit -ttebane!"

Walter merely raised an eyebrow at the whiskered blonde as he twitched a finger, causing one of his wires to wrap around Naruto's leg and pull it out from under him, "First off, don't be so loud it's annoying," he began as he puffed out a plume of smoke, "Secondly, you are short, get used to it. Finally, the villager excuse might work for the damage around the apartment, as well as the various objects being thrown around, but I am fairly certain they didn't leave all the dirty dishes in your sink, or the bed messy, nor the empty ramen cups on the counters."

Naruto simply blushed in embarrassment at being called out on his laziness.

Walter took another quick drag on his cigarette, "Not to worry though, Runt, I'll be around to help you keep this place clean and the villagers away. Along with the Cat over there." he stated as he motioned towards Schrödinger who was resting in the nearby window seal, a big grin etched on his face.

Naruto finally remembered the things he had watched the two figures before him do earlier and to a lesser extent, a few minutes prior, "Umm, how do you guys do the things you do, the glinting and disappearing thing? Is it a Jutsu?"

Walter smiled as he made his wires gently dance around the room, "Not at all Runt, I utilize a special mono-molecular wire that, with enough training, one can control the wire to do anything they wish. When enough force is applied they can carve most things to pieces."

Schrodenger appeared to be thinking about how to answer the whiskered boy's question. Suddenly he snapped his fingers as he jumped off the window seal and landed directly infront of the startled child, "Vell, it is a bit more difficult to explain my ability, vut I shall give it a shot. Az I explained earlier, I am everyvhere and novhere. Vhat this means is that I exist and I don't exist at the same time, kind of like your imagination in a vay, little kit. Zo long as I am spotted, I exist, but ze moment you take your eyez off of me, I'm gone. Even if I were to be 'killed', zo long as I have my prezense of self I can exist anyvhere zat I choose."

Naruto stood in awe as the two explained themselves. Naruto suddenly came to a decision, "I don't want to be hurt by those villagers anymore, I don't want to have to worry about being able to protect my friends when the villagers get too drunk. W.. would you two please teach me to be as strong as you?"

Walter and Schrödinger looked at each other briefly before a small smile broke out of Walter's face. He slowly put out his cigarette and walked towards the young Naruto, "Well, I suppose we can give it a shot, though we will need to find you some wires. It would definitely make keeping you safe from those fuckers a lot easier and maybe we can work on your manners while we are at it, eh Runt?"

Schrödinger nodded his head enthusiastically, "Yah, yah ve can give it a try, though I doubt you vill be able to mimic my ability perfectly, though ve vill zee if chakra can at least help you disappear."

Naruto smiled brightly at the acceptance as he tackled Walter and Schrödinger into a hug, "Thank you, thank you, thank you." he began repeating towards them.

Walter had a slight aggravated look on his face, but a small smile could be seen, _'Well, I suppose things could be worse. But this is another thing that will be corrected in his manner training.'_

 _2 years later_

A nine year old Naruto was walking down the street at night, with Schrödinger. The two had decided to go out for a small walk as they waited for Walter to get back from shopping. Naruto had discovered a few things about his new roommates/bodyguards. Schrödinger was a cuddler and would often times, sneak into his bed when he was asleep and rest against him. At first Naruto was extremely embarrassed but, he quickly grew to except the inevitable. Walter also surprised him by being very good at sewing. In fact the clothes he was currently wearing were sewn by Walter.

Naruto's new outfit consisted of long black pants held to his waist by a black belt, tucked in white long sleeve shirt, with a sleeveless black vest and a black tie, tied slightly loosely around his neck. They had also managed to get him a pair of black combat boots for his feet and black fingerless gloves for his hands.

Naruto's training over the past couple of years had given him a slightly calmer personality. He no longer shouted when it was unnecessary and he was almost obsessed with staying clean. Walter had focused his most of his time on improving his speed and flexibility, only recently having started him on controlling the ninja wire they had purchased for the whiskered blonde. While not as strong as Walter's wires, they were more malleable and could create a more intricate dance. Currently Naruto was only able to fully capture a single person with his wires, rather that cut them to pieces.

Sadly, his training with Schrödinger hadn't gone quite as well. While they had gotten down a basis for utilizing his Chakra to disappear, his current level of control only allowed him to blur slightly out of existence, rather than disappear. The previous year Naruto had been questioned on if he wanted to join the Academy, he quickly declined, stating that he would rather keep training under his two guards.

Suddenly, Naruto and Schrödinger found themselves surrounded by a mob of civilians, "Well, well if it isn't the Demon and his freaky little minion." the apparent leader of the mob sneered.

Schrödinger glared at the gathering before a twisted smile appeared on his face and he unsheathed a long combat knife, "Vell, if it izin't more fools to the slaughter. Are you sure you all vant to test ze Hokage's patience with zis little stunt?"

While outwardly looking confident, Schrödinger was sweating on the inside, _'Damnit, I am not built for ztraight up fighting, zat damn Butler better arrive soon or Naru-chan vill be in trouble.'_

The leader of the mob grimaced momentarily before finding his courage once more, "Who cares what that old fool thinks! He's blind if he wants to protect that monster. Now die!"

As the man shouted the villagers brought out various weapons and started to approach the pair. Schrodenger quickly met the villagers and began to slice his way through the mob. He blocked or dodged various strikes, cutting long slashes into his opponents.

Behind him Naruto was dancing around his own opponents, wires glinting in the night, as he wrapped them around weapons in an attempt to redirect them towards his opponent's allies. Finally he managed to wrap up one of his opponents, however this had the side affect of leaving him exposed.

From behind a lucky villager snuck up on the occupied Naruto, quickly grasping his shoulder, he viciously brought a knife across the boy's throat and jabbed him in the stomach several times, before letting him drop to the ground, coughing up blood. His life essence pooling out around him.

Schrödinger had looked back to check on his ward, just in time to see the act. As the whiskered blonde fell, something within Schrödinger's mind snapped and a dark chuckle began to erupt from within his chest, "You are all going to die here tonight."

One of the villagers took the opportunity to stab the cat-like man in the back. As they took their eyes off the body, Schrödinger quickly reappeared behind the mob's leader and slit his throat, eye's shaded by his hair. Once again one of the mob members tried to kill him, this time bashing his head open with a metal pipe. Like before the former Millennium member appeared behind a villager and slit their throat. This action repeated itself over and over until only one whimpering villager lay on the ground, still holding the bloody knife that he had stabbed Naruto with.

"Ve are going to play, yah!" Schrödinger simply told the man as he began using his own knife to slowly peel off the skin from the now screaming man.

 **Naruto's Mindscape**

After he collapsed onto the ground, Naruto found himself within a sewer, staring before a large barred gate, "Am I dead?" he questioned to himself.

Suddenly he was surrounded by a dark echoing chuckle, **"Not yet, little one but soon, you will be."**

The darkness behind the gate cleared revealing a giant, orange furred, nine-tailed fox.

Naruto looked at the fox in shock, "K... Kyuubi?"

The Fox nodded his head, **"Yes that is one of the names I have been called through the many years. Also Calamity, Shinju, Monster, Nightwalker... but the name I am perhaps the most fond of... was Alucard."**

Naruto nodded his head absent mindedly, "So, someone sealed you into me, I suppose this is why the villagers hate me?"

The Kyuubi looked at the boy in surprise, **"Hmm, smarter then you look boy."**

Naruto looked down solemnly, "So this is it huh, we die here together. I hope Walter and Neko-kun will be okay."

Alucard stared at the child for a second before coming to a decision, **"If you are so determined that your friends are safe, perhaps I can offer you a solution."**

Naruto looked up in surprise, "Can you keep me from dying?"

The Kyuubi let out a fox-like grin, **"In a matter of speaking, I shall transfer my essence to you. All that I am, all that I was shall go into you. All you must do, is follow my instructions when you awaken in the real world. Do you agree?"**

Naruto thought about it for a moment, "But, wont that kill you?"

The fox looked almost sad, when he heard that question, **"I have lived for too long as it is, those who I knew are long dead... or at least most of them are. It's time I rejoined the few people I cared for, in death."**

Naruto slowly nodded, "Okay, I agree."

 **Real world**

Naruto slowly woke too the pain from his neck and stomach. Pooling right in front of him was the blood of various villagers that Schrödinger had killed, so focused on the blood, he didn't even notice the screams.

 **"Drink the blood and I will begin transferring my essence."** The Kyuubi spoke from within his mind.

Not thinking twice about it, Naruto began to lap up the blood. There was a dark chuckle coming from within his mind, a dark red energy began to swirl around his nine year old body.

From within the seal, a tall dark haired man, wearing a red coat and dark suit could be seen with an insane grin upon his face, **"Yes, no matter what your enemies bring before you, whether it be swords, knives, siege engines, guns, cannons, spears. None of this is what kills people. No it is giving up that will kill you. Those who refuse to give up are entitled their time to trample upon the weak.* Now rise Naruto Uzumaki, Legacy of Dracula, Last of the Vampires. Rise and prepare to crush your enemies beneath your boot!"** And with that, Alucard drifted away into ash.

Schrödinger had finished skinning the man and was now staring in shock at the vortex of energy swirling around Naruto. He suddenly found Walter and Hiruzen standing beside him staring as Naruto continued to lick the blood from the ground, "Do you zink it is za Kyuubi?" he questioned.

Hiruzen shook his head, "Know, this feels much darker then the Kyuubi did? I'm not sure what to think of this?"

As the vortex finally came to a halt, an altered Naruto stood up, blood dripping from his chin. His skin had turned a pale white and his once blonde hair had turned to an obsidian black. He slowly opened his eyes, revealing one of his eyes having turned crimson and both with slit pupils. Despite the wound closing, there was now a wide, visible scar running across his neck.

Naruto stared at the trio momentarily before speaking up, "Heya Jiji, how you doing?" he asked as if there was nothing wrong in the world.

Hiruzen just stared at the former blonde, "Umm, Naruto are you alright?"

Naruto held a finger to his bottom lip as he appeared to think over the question, "Mmm, ya I think so, blood is surprisingly tasty. Didn't expect that when I agreed to the deal."

The Sarutobi had a slightly panicked look on his face, "W..what deal is that Naruto-kun?"

Naruto, who had begun playing with his hair looked over at the Hokage, "Why, the deal I made with Kyuu-chan in order to live." He looked down, slightly sadly at this, "He's gone now."

Before Hiruzen could say another word, Naruto was tackled by an anxious looking Schrödinger, who began looking over his former wounds, "Are you sure you are okay, Naru-chan? Those vounds vere pretty deep."

Walter merely watched as the cat man fussed over the new Naruto, _'I should have been there, fucking twats. If it wasn't for whatever changed him, Naruto could very well be dead.'_ He thought to himself as he kicked one of the dead villagers.

Naruto quickly grabbed his head as images began to pour into his brain. When the images finally came to a halt, he merely looked at the Hokage, "Jiji, we need to have a discussion in your office about my new changes."

The Hokage looked at the boy seriously for a moment before nodding and leading the trio to the Hokage tower.

* * *

 **A/N Alright that is a wrap for this chapter. I didn't originally plan for this progression for Naru, however as I thought more and more about Kyuu-chan being Alucard, though more I lent towards what came out. I have a plan for Narucard's personality that will hopefully be a nice little mix between normal Alucard and TFS Alucard.**

 ***Yes this speech was largely the one he gives in Hellsing Ultimate when questioned about Seras, usually I don't like using lines like that, but it just seemed so perfect for the situation, as well as Alucard's normal dramatic flair.**

 **I hope you all enjoy the story as it progresses!**


	3. The Secretary

**A/N "Grenfell does not own Naruto or Hellsing"**

* * *

 **Hokage Tower**

Naruto looked at the Hokage with his now heterochromatic eyes, "So Jiji, the Kyuubi is gone and I need to drink human blood now."

Naruto's incredibly blunt statement caused everyone in the room to sweat drop. Hiruzen sighed as he pinched the bridge of his nose, "Naruto-kun, I'm going to need a bit more information then that. Especially if you are requesting human blood now." Normally the old Hokage wouldn't be too worried about the blood thing, by the Sage he lived in a ninja village with bloodline users, weird shit happens. However he had seen what Naruto was like on a ramen binge and, if that transferred over to his new blood thing, he feared for the village.

Naruto nodded in understanding, "Well, while I was lying on the ground, dying," Schrödinger and Walter both flinched at the blunt statement, "The Kyuubi decided to transfer his essence into me, making me, like he was."

Hiruzen's eyes widened, "So... your the knew Kyuubi?" he questioned frantically.

Naruto merely gave a dark chuckle, "Not quite, contrary to popular belief, that was merely a form that The Kyuubi took a liking too a few centuries back, no I'm what he called, a vampire." at this Naruto showed off a sharp toothed smile, his crimson eye glowing slightly.

Hiruzen sighed at the theatrics, "And what, precisely does that mean?"

Naruto hummed to himself in thought, "I suppose the best way to explain it is to say that blood is life, it carries the soul and for individuals like myself, it the blood of other's can be used to prolong my own life. Sacrificing the soul of someone I have drained instead of my own when I am to die."

The old man nodded, "And what if you don't drink enough to kill?"

Naruto went through his new memories before finding the answer, "Well it depends. If I'm drinking from a bag, it will sustain me, kind of like if I just ate dinner. However, it is when I drink from a live person that things get interesting. Drinking directly from someone of the same gender or someone who has had sex, will quickly turn the person into a ghoul, an undead monster that can only be killed with my death, destruction of the body, or destruction of the brain, under my direct command. But if I drink from a virgin of the opposite sex, I create another mini-me who will see me as their master."

Hiruzen's mouth hung agape at the implications of this information, _'If he was a ninja, we could simply drop him into an enemy village and his_ _ **eating habits**_ _would destroy them within days.'_

Coughing into his hand in an attempt to compose himself the Hokage looked seriously at Naruto, "Are you absolutely sure you don't want to join the Shinobi forces Naruto, your abilities would be major boon."

Naruto began to cackle, almost dementedly, "Jiji, first of all, I haven't even begun to explain the abilities I gained, that was just a byproduct of eating. Secondly, their is know way in hell, that I am going to protect and serve the _honorable_ civilians of this village."

Hiruzen managed to contain his slight shock Naruto's first point. He nodded sadly however at the boy's second, having expected that reaction for sometime now. Finally he came to a decision, "How about I offer you a similar deal that I gave your friends here Naruto-kun? You will work directly for me, rather than the village. On paper you will be my secretary, handling my meetings, arranging appointments, and making sure relevant paperwork gets to me. Behind the scenes, however, you will work as our secret weapon and, if you prove strong enough, my bodyguard."

Naruto let out a bloodthirsty grin worthy of Alucard's heir, before a frown began to work it's way onto his face, "Jiji, are you just trying to get out of some of the stupider meetings and pointless paperwork, so that you can read your perverted books some more?"

The Hokage chuckled nervously, "W..well, th..thats not the only reason... Look, if you keep quiet about the books, then I will assign your friends as assistants, deal?"

After two shouts of "Hey!" Naruto quickly agreed to the deal, _'Sure I will have to deal with some paperwork, but at least he will be paying me to hang out with Walter and Neko-kun, as well as getting to scare the "important" people, this just might be fun.'_

 _4 Years Later_

Within his apartment, Naruto woke up once again to find Schrödinger sleeping beside him. It had become quickly apparent that neither Walter or Schrödinger were aging normally, though Schrödinger did appear to be aging along with him. Over the years he had come to accept his position as the Hokage's secretary, taking immense entertainment at terrifying young Genin and civilians that would come to the tower, by walking through walls and causing laughter to echo through "empty" rooms.

Naruto had managed to convince the man to, on top of blood bags from the Hospital, allow him to feed from death row inmates, so that he may build up his "castle". While he wasn't able to find any noteworthy familiars in the prison, he was able to use the accumulated souls to reform a more foxy version of Baskerville, having enjoyed the memories of how Alucard would utilize the hell hound.

After showing the Hokage his inhuman strength and speed, as well as his more supernatural powers, the Hokage had agreed to him being utilized as a bodyguard for specific events and as an emergency asset, when a team is over their head.

Naruto had also continued his training with Walter and Schrödinger. He had managed to achieve as high of a proficiency with his Chakra Wires as he was likely to get, finally being able to slice through the more tender areas of the human body, as well as most protective materials found on shinobi, though chakra metal was a bit resistant. With Schrödinger, he had finally managed to disappear as he wished, thanks to a combination of his vampiric abilities and the chakra technique they had been working on.

Appearance wise, Naruto had grown quickly, now standing at 5' 3''. His hair reached down to the nape of his neck and he had two black bangs reaching down to his jaw. His clothing merely being refitted to match his new size.

Suddenly Schrödinger began to stir. The cat man slowly stretched out on the bed, purring slightly, "Morning, Naru-chan, do ve get to frighten little civilians again today?"

Naruto chuckled as he prepared for the day, "Not quite, a little birdie told me that today is the first day for this year's graduating class's D-rank missions. So we may get a chance to put the newbies in their place."

From the kitchen, Walter's voice could be heard, "Naruto! Cat! breakfast is ready, get your asses in here before it gets could or your fending for your fucking selves!"

 **Hokage Tower**

Sarutobi Hiruzen took a relaxing puff on his pipe, having already finished most of the day's paperwork. Ever since he hired Naruto, only the most urgent and important papers found their way to his desk. He had also begun sending Naruto out to help out Teams in trouble, saving the lives of numerous Genin in the process. While his presence and attitude hadn't made the boy any more friends among the civilians, most of the shinobi corps. was behind that lad. He had even started having the boy handle mission assignments for Genin teams. This way, he reasoned, the teams would be prepared for the unexpected as they left the office and have a healthy dose of Killing Intent whenever they entered the mission assignment room.

On the floor directly below the Hokage's office, Naruto was currently meeting with the three most prominent Genin teams of this year's graduation. Sitting at his desk, while being flanked by his two best-friends/bodyguards/assistants, Naruto proudly displayed his black hitai-ate around his neck, hiding his scar. He carefully studied each of the teams standing before him.

Kakashi's team was perhaps the most prepared for a serious mission, consisting of the Uchiha, Sai, and a pink haired banshee, _'Huh, I thought they were extinct,'_ though the banshee might hold them back in anything physical, if her body is anything to show for her skills.

Asuma's team looked far more well rounded, the Ino-Shika-Cho trio revived, though that wasn't saying much really. Plus the blonde's tapping was beginning to grate on his ears, _'The Nara could probably get them through a C-rank but, maybe they will get better all together as time goes on.'_

Finally their was perhaps the biggest disappointment, Kurenai's team. The Hyuuga appeared to be scared of her own shadow, the Inuzuka's dog was more intelligent then it's master, and the Aburame, perhaps the most proficient shinobi there, was to quiet to really take the reigns. To top it all off on his annoyance meter, their sensei had come in with a sense of superiority, _'she has got to be a newbie.'_

Having gone over that disparaging amount of issues that stood before him, Naruto slowly took out a pack of cigarettes and lit one up with as small flame jutsu. It was a habit he had picked up from Walter.

Right before he was about to talk, the newbie Jounin decided to speak up, "Couldn't you wait smoke that disgusting thing until we were gone?" she questioned.

The other two sensei in the room merely face palmed at their colleagues mistake, they had seen the damage Naruto caused through his office when someone pissed him off.

Schrödinger had a smile on his face and a glint could be seen behind Walter. Naruto merely smiled as he looked at Kurenai, letting out a bit of his killing intent, making it difficult for the Genin to breathe, "You know Yuhi-san, I had planned to be nice, a few scare tactics here and there, sure to prepare the little Genin. Now though I'm a little annoyed."

Taking a long drag on his cigarette, he quickly grabbed the worst D-rank he had and tossed it to the red-eyed Jounin, "Your team will be catching Tora, have fun."

Kurenai merely scoffed, thinking that the secretary was all talk and hype before she lead her team out to complete the mission.

Once the team had left, a devilish grin appeared on Naruto's face, "Neko-kun, would you please ensure that Tora has all the assistance the darling thing could possibly need. Oh, and make sure most of the obstacles can target the Jounin."

Schrödinger merely let out a laugh that terrified the remaining Genin as he left the building.

Naruto noticed the blonde girl about to protest his orders, causing the grin on his face to widen slightly as he smoked his cigarette. Sadly her sensei saw what was coming and quickly covered her mouth, much to Naruto's disappointment. Finally he sighed as he addressed the teams, "Alright fresh meat, you are here for your first ever D-rank mission as you just saw, if you piss me off I will find a way to make sure your missions go horribly. Now Team 10 you will get a mission to paint the retirement home's building. Team 7 will help one of our local farmer with some work they need done."

The team's quickly left the room, "So what do you think Neko-kun will do to them Walter?"

Walter merely sighed as he took out his own cigarette, "I assume the damn cat will rig Tora's escape route with annoying prank traps while covering the Jounin in cat nip. I still don't get why I can't simply behead the annoying bastards."

Naruto sighed, "Because, as exciting as that might be to watch, torturing them this way provides for longer entertainment."

It was a few hours later that a haggard Team 8 came stumbling into the mission assignment room, having finally captured Tora, for the day. They had even broken a Tora record, sadly it was for the longest amount of time it took to catch the demon cat.

Naruto merely looked at them, Schrödinger smiling deviously behind him, getting a bit of pleasure out of the especially frazzled Jounin, "So... how did the mission go?"

Kurenai glared, knowing that the secretary had something to do with the leap of difficulty that the mission gained, before she composed herself, "Just fine, secretary-san. I think my team is done with missions today."

After receiving their pay she quickly left the room with her team. Schrodenger quickly broke into laughter, "Oh, you should have zeen it, Naru-chan. Every time zey caught little Tora, ze cats attracted by ze catnip vould give him a chance to escape, zhen ze pathetic team kept running into my traps. Zhat Hyuuga girl didn't even zink to use her special eyes to spot zem."

Naruto nodded, a grin adorning his face, "Well then, I think one team wont be ready for C-rank missions for a while."

 _3 Months Later_

The time had finally come in the mission office, his three most frequent Genin teams were demanding C-rank missions. Naruto evaluated the teams slowly, starting with Kurenai's, "Yuhi-san do you mind if I smoke while I think this over?"

Recognizing the verbal trap, Kurenai refused to answer, the last time she did the secretary had somehow humiliated her in public utilizing a dead fish, some glue and Tora, she still had nightmares about the event, finally believing the rumors surrounding the boy.

Naruto smirked at her refusal to answer as he began to smoke his cigarette. Team 8 would still run blindly into the usual traps set up for the missions, but they were slowly learning. Finally coming to a decision he tossed the team a C-rank scroll, much to Kiba's pleasure, "Before you get too excited, it is a simple delivery mission to one of our border outposts, at most you'll run into bandits while having access to immediate back up."

As the team left he turned to Team 10. As expected, this team had grown slightly, though they would still need the Nara's expertise, that was likely to remain an issue however, he also tossed them a C-rank mission, "There is a bandit camp near one of our outlying towns, you lot are to exterminate it." Naruto looked at Asuma before continuing, "I would suggest making sure that they get their first kill on this one, it might help them later on."

Finally he turned to Team 7, Sakura was still largely as pathetic as before, so he found them what was the second easiest C-rank available, though he had a bad feeling about it. At Naruto's signal, Walter left to retrieve the client, "You all will be escorting the bridge builder, Tazuna back to Nami no Kuni, as well as protecting him as he build his bridge."

Tazuna walked in, drinking from a jug of sake. He took one look at the team before speaking, "I thought I hired shinobi not two depressing looking kids and a pink haired toothpick."

As he was taking another gulp from his jug, there was a glint of chakra wires as his jug was cut to pieces. He quickly looked around, finding Naruto sitting back in his chair, adjusting his fingerless gloves, "Tazuna-san, it is against the rules to drink on an escort mission. As for your team, I chose them myself based off of their skills and the dangers listed on the mission, now either you are lying to me about the mission, or you don't trust my ability to judge people. Which is it?"

Tazuna and the Genin stared in fear of the secretary as his shadow appeared to take the form of a demonic, multi-eyed fox, "N... nothing like that Sir. Y...you misheard I think this is a super good team, perfect for the mission of protecting me!"

The fox disappeared immediately as the boy grinned, "Very well have fun on your mission everyone!"

As the last team left, Naruto turned to Walter, "I think we may be heading to wave soon."

The next day, Naruto found himself in the Hokage's office, going over some of the more important files and setting up arrangements for the Chunin Exams.

Suddenly a small pug-like dog poofed into the center of the office, "Hokage-sama, Kakashi-sama requests help for the C-turned-A rank mission to escort the bridge builder to Nami. The team has encountered missing nin Momochi Zabuza and is expecting to have to fight him again."

As the summons completed giving it's message it poofed away. Naruto suddenly started cackling, much to Hiruzen's concern, "HA! I told you we would be heading to Nami Walter!"

From beside him Walter merely sighed.

"I don't remember giving you the order to assist Team 7 Naruto, I could always send a reserve team you know." Hiruzen reminded the excited young man.

Naruto merely stared blankly at the old man, "Hokage-jiji, either you send me, or I go for a walk, and we all know which will cause more paperwork."

Hiruzen straitened up and quickly agreed to Naruto's "request". As he was leaving Naruto threw out one final comment, "By the way, I'm taking Walter and leaving Schrödinger in charge of handing out missions!"

The Hokage merely sighed, knowing he'd get an increase in complaints about Schrödinger trapping missions soon. He was aware that Naruto had him trap most D-ranks, usually as a way of punishing stupidity, arrogance, or just improving a Genin's skills. However, when Schrödinger was left in charge, the traps quickly delved into the realm of pranking the entire shinobi corps.

"Please... just hurry back to control your boyfriend." The Hokage muttered, much to a sputtering Naruto's embarrassment.

In order to save some of his remaining dignity, Naruto left the building without another word and prepared for the slaughter to come, _'I bet Zabuza will make a wonderful familiar.'_

* * *

 **A/N Alright, first thing, while Naruto has a number of Alucards basic abilities, he is not as experienced, he also doesn't hold nearly as many lives within him, so he has to build them up. Currently I'd put him at a match for most normal Jounin, though he would struggle in a straight fight with most higher level shinobi, we will see a bit of this with Zabuza. We have also begun to see a bit of the fun sadistic Narucard and will see a bit more of that next chapter, where he will see a real leprechaun!... or not.**

 **Finally, let me know if I'm moving the story too quickly and I will try to slow it down a bit more.**


	4. Wave and Nominations

**A/N "Grenfell doesn't own Naruto or Hellsing" hope you enjoy the chapter!**

* * *

 **Nami no Kuni**

Sasuke growled lowly to himself. This C-rank had started out relatively ok an encounter with a pair of Chunin ranked missing nin, but nothing they couldn't handle. Then, just as they were going to reach the client's house, they were ambushed by Momochi Zabuza. No big though, they had Kakashi...and then the silver haired pervert managed to get trapped in a water bubble. Luckily Sai showed some of his skill and managed to free their lazy sensei. After seeing Zabuza "die" the team then made it's way to Tazuna's house, expecting to have an easier mission. Sadly their hopes had recently been dashed with Kakashi's little reveal that Zabuza wasn't in fact dead.

Sasuke quickly punched the tree in frustration, _'So, now we are going to have to fight him again as well as his accomplice, and accomplice that is capable of masquerading as a hunter nin... shit.'_

The team had been finishing up a tree walking exercise that Kakashi was teaching them, in preparation for the face off with Zabuza. Sakura had finished the exercise on the first day, though she continued to due it in order to build up her reserves. Sai had completed the exercise the day before, though Sasuke had to wonder about Sai's skill set, he never seemed to be having any real trouble with the exercise, merely keeping up with the Uchiha before he decided to pass him. Finally there was Sasuke, who didn't complete the exercise until the night before the showdown, which in part lead to his current frustration.

Finally the boy began to head back to the client's house, though he couldn't help but feel as though there were eyes watching him. Upon entering, he noticed that he had just arrived in time for dinner, taking a seat he began to eat with everyone else.

Suddenly the shinobi noticed a black and red blur pass through the walls surrounding them. Sending a questioning look towards Kakashi, he could see the Jounin banging his head onto the table, seeming to murmur, "Not him, not him!" with each slam.

Finally he could hear a dark and echoing voice coming from the walls, "I am the voice in your head, the one who ensures your dead. The darkness of the night, that makes kiddies scream in fright. Now tell me.." At this point a black clad figure could be seen coming out of the walls, "Who am I?"

Sakura quickly screamed, apparently not expecting someone to come out of the walls. Sasuke couldn't really blame her, it was a little disconcerting.

The Genin team was distracted from their thoughts once again as the door was kicked open, the smoking form of Walter from the mission office making itself know, "Damnit Naruto, the riddle is annoying."

Upon noticing the shocked team and clients Walter made a quick, but half-hearted bow, "Apologies, I am Walter, the fucker coming out of the wall is Naruto. We are the requested back up."

Kakashi looked towards the two, eyebrow slightly twitching, "Is there a reason the Hokage sent you two, or were we just unlucky."

The silver haired Jounin grew worried at Naruto's chuckles, "I threatened to go for a walk through the village if he didn't let me come."

Sakura glared at the annoying secretary, "And why would the Hokage be frightened by you taking a walk? What could a secre..." She was quickly cut off by Kakashi covering her mouth before she said something incredibly stupid to the vindictive teen.

Raising an eyebrow at the Team's Sensei, Naruto decided to answer the question, "Weeeell, the last time I decided to take a walk, there were a coincidental; 14 counts of property damage, 5 suicides, 11 deaths, 2 counts of graffiti, 25 counts of vandalism, oh! and reports of a mountain being blown up."

At their shocked faces and attempts at questioning the now confirmed to be insane secretary, Walter put his hand up to stop them, "It is best not to ask, just pray that he keeps doing it to villages outside of Konoha."

Naruto finally decided that the introductions were done and walked towards the door, "Well, we just came by to let you know we are around as your back up ta, ta."

As they were leaving the house Walter finally decided to ask a question that was bugging him, "Any particular reason why we didn't just kill the targets and be done with it?"

Naruto merely smiled his fanged grin at his friend, "I'm hoping they will be entertaining with whatever they have planned, you know, before I turn them into my next meal."

The next day saw Naruto standing on the scaffold of the bridge, watching as the shinobi fought beneath them. The vampire had left Walter with the bridge builder's family, seeing as Team 7 had neglected that little detail.

Finally the battle below had reached it's climax, the masked nin had intercepted Kakashi's **Chidori** , though Zabuza was still grievously wounded, his arms now out of commission. Zabuza now merely stood, excepting the fact that he was likely about to die, as he stared down at his apprentice's dying form. Naruto chose that moment to jump down to the bridge and approach his soon to be familiars, having been impressed by their prowess.

However, before he could make his offer, he was interrupted by clapping at the other end of the bridge, it seemed Gato had arrived with a small army of thugs at his back.

"Now isn't this just touching, the big bad demon had a soft spot for his tool after all." Gato stated mockingly.

Zabuza glared up at his employer, "Why are you here Gato?"

The crime lord smirked, "Well I didn't particularly feel like paying you outrageous asking price, so I figured, let you complete the job and then hire these bandits to kill you. At half the price I might add. I hadn't expected that you would fail this badly, but they should be able to take care of a wounded demon and worn out Konoha trash."

Naruto couldn't help himself, he began chuckling. The chuckling soon turning into a long laughter that had him holding his sides, "P.. please someone tell me I heard... that right." He said through his laughter.

Finally straitening up, his red eye glowing as he stared at the now frowning Gato, "Please tell me that the fat, little piggy said that he will be able to kill me."

As he made his statement, Naruto's shadow quickly formed into a demonic, fox with red eyes throughout it's body. The fox seemed to step out of the shadow, coming to a rest beside Naruto, growling at the mass of now terrified bandits. Naruto quickly raised up his hand, "Kurama, Kill." and with a snap of his fingers, all hell broke loose.

The fox like creature tore through the bandit's ranks, ripping out throats and tearing through stomachs with it's teeth and claws respectively. By the time the carnage was complete, all that was left was corpses, which were slowly being devoured by the large, demonic fox.

Team 7 could only stare in shock at what the Hokage's secretary commanded, all of them feeling slightly sick to their stomach, if not already retching off the side of the bridge. Kakashi knew he would have to talk them through what they witnessed.

Naruto had finally made his way across the now blood soaked bridge, heading towards the dying pair of missing nin. He quickly took off the masked nin's mask, revealing a surprisingly girly boy with black hair. He could see the light fading in the boy's eyes and quickly made his offer, "You two, so many things left unsaid. So many regrets. So much fear of the next life. I would like to make an offer, give your blood to me willingly and I shall ensure that the two of you are together for all eternity. What do you say?"

Haku merely took a second to respond, blood being coughed up every other word, "If Zabuza-sama... agrees then... I would... happily continue... serving him."

Zabuza just looked over at Haku, tears streaming down his face, "Fine, I agree if only to ensure that my son doesn't have to go to eternal torment for the things that I made him do."

Haku managed to stare over at Zabuza in shock, "Z... Zabuza-sama."

Naruto quickly dove and bit into Haku's neck, _'Blood willingly given, it truly is the sweeter.'_ Finishing off Haku, he could feel the new soul within him, having slightly more conscious thought then the typically souls. The black haired teen quickly moved onto Zabuza, in order to ensure his promise. It took slightly longer to drain the larger man, but in enough time it was done. Finally he destroyed both their bodies in order to ensure that the corpses didn't rise again as ghouls, while fun the Hokage would chew out his ass if he let a ghoul menace spread without orders to do so. However now Naruto was placed in an annoying situation, Team 7 had just witnessed him drink the blood of two missing nin.

The trip back too Tazuna's house had been quiet and awkward, made even more so by finding pieces of two bandits strewn about the front yard and Walter just leaning against the wall.

Finally Sasuke spoke up, "So... the blood thing, any particular reason you drank their blood?"

Naruto merely took out a cigarette and began to smoke, leaning against a wall. He looked to Walter who merely shrugged, not really carrying how the younger teen answered.

Naruto nodded to himself and decided to give an answer, "Blood is the currency of the soul. Certain individuals, like myself, are able to utilize the blood of the living in order to extend our own life or to utilize the abilities of those who give the blood willingly. They become familiars. There is more to it, but that is all the explanation your getting."

Team 7 looked like they wanted to ask more questions but the vampire motioned for his friend, "It's time we leave Walter, the kiddies should be able to handle the rest of their mission and I got what I wanted." The two quickly left the house and moved towards Konoha.

 **Konohagakure**

Naruto and Walter arrived back at the Hokage's Tower within a few days, only for Naruto to be tackled by a blonde blur, "Naru-chan! your back." stated an accented voice, "Did you bring back anyzing fun?"

Naruto merely chuckled at his excitable friend, idly scratching him behind the ears, getting a purr in return, "Well, I found two perfect familiars, but alas, not much else. And what about Neko-kun, did you have fun in my absence?"

The cat-like teen jumped up before rapidly re-telling all the fun he had with the various Genin teams.

The three had eventually made it too the Hokage's office, only to find the elderly man in a pitched battle with a mountain of paperwork. The Sandaime saw the three teens as they entered and immediately jumped up, finger pointing at Naruto, "YOU! From now on, if you leave you take that damned blonde cat with you!"

Naruto raised an eyebrow as Schrödinger merely giggled lightly from behind him, "What did he do?"

The old Hokage gestured to the pile of paperwork, "For the past week, I have gotten reports of mysterious paint being dropped on Genin teams, dead fish being found in the oddest places, holes dug randomly around the streets, and no one has been able to catch Tora once. The Daimyo's wife is furious!"

Walter decided that then was a perfect time to behead the annoying cat with his wires. Hiruzen blinked as he watched the cat-boy's headless body fall to the ground, "That was oddly satisfying to watch."

Naruto chuckled lightly, "Hokage-sama, if I may. The mission to Nami was a success. Team 7 is finishing up the guard duty, Gato is dead, and Momochi Zabuza is my newest familiar, along with his apprentice."

The Hokage adopted a more serious expression as he nodded, "Very well, can you bring the two out Naruto-kun?"

Naruto nodded and seemed to be concentrating. Soon his shadow split, revealing two figures. The two quickly became more defined as the figures of Zabuza and Haku, though the edges of their bodies had black and red flames licking off them. They both were standing at attention, Haku having his mask on his face once again. Naruto finding the mask to be more intimidating then the boy's face.

Hiruzen nodded, "So the Demon of Kirigakure, I hadn't thought to see him in person, especially not like this."

Zabuza glared at the Hokage, "And just who are you, old bastard!"

The Sandaime raised an eyebrow towards Naruto, noticing the masked nin sighing in exasperation. Naruto shrugged, "They gave in willingly so most of their personality is still intact, really the only change is that they will obey anything I say and they 'live' inside of me now."

Hiruzen sighed, "Fine whatever, did you come to a decision regarding being a proctor for the Chunin Exams?"

Naruto nodded as he brought the two familiars back within his body, "Ya I think I would be best for the preliminaries and the third round. I don't have Ibiki's skill with mind screwing and Anko really wants to do the Second Exam."

The Sarutobi nodded as he marked down Naruto's name as a proctor for the Exam, "Very well. As soon as the Chunin Exams officially begin, you will be a proctor and Walter will take over the mission office until the Exams come to an end. I don't care what you do with that blonde haired devil, but try to keep him from unleashing chaos onto the village."

Naruto grinned as he saluted the elderly Hokage, "Of course Hokage-jiji."

It was a few days later that Team 7 finally arrived to collect their pay for their first C-rank mission. As Naruto looked at the pay slip that the team received from the Hokage, he let out a whistle, "So the old man actually allowed you to get paid for an A-rank on this one did he?"

At this Sai looked at the secretary in confusion, "Didn't you get paid for this mission as well Uzumaki-san? I would imagine we would have gotten paid the same amount."

Naruto merely laughed, "Nah, Hokage-jiji doesn't pay me like that anymore for emergency missions, besides, I'd say my acquisitions from that mission more than make up for whatever amount of money I would have made from the job."

A slightly confused Team 7 quickly left the office, not wanting to be around the disturbing teen for longer than necessary.

"Hey Walter, do you think I should have warned them about the Chunin Exams?" the heterochromatic eyed teen questioned.

Walter took a long drag on his cigarette, "No, it's not our job to correct the ignorance of morons."

The day of the Chunin Exams was fast approaching. Naruto had been in the Hokage's office, watching as the contestants were nominated.

Team 7 had been the first of the rookie teams sensei to step forward, "I nominate Team 7." Kakashi had stated simply.

The other two sensei also nominated their teams. Naruto would have laughed if not for the Chunin instructor who occasionally assisted the Hokage with paperwork.

"No! I taught those Genin and there is no way they could be ready for something as deadly as the Chunin Exams yet, even Gai held his team back for an extra year before making an attempt!" he had shouted at the Jounin.

Kakashi merely waved his hand lazily, "Now, now Iruka, they may have been your students in the past, but they are ours now and I think we have a better idea of how they have improved."

Iruka looked as if he was going to continue to complain at the silver haired shinobi's statement, but the Hokage quickly cut him off, "He is right Iruka-kun, while I can appreciate your concern for your students, they are no longer children and we must trust their new sensei to be able to gauge their abilities."

Naruto merely snorted from his corner, earning a few glares from the gathered Jounin, "Is there something you want to say Naruto-kun?" The aged Hokage questioned.

Naruto merely shrugged, "Honestly, from what I have seen the rookies largely aren't ready for promotion, with a couple exceptions of course. Personally, I don't care so much if they die, but some of them do truly have potential, it would be a shame for them to die so young."

Kurenai took offence to his comment, seeing as her team consistently ran into his traps on D-ranks, "And what makes you think you are in anyway qualified to say how prepared a team is for promotion? Your merely a secretary who gets off on screwing with missions."

Naruto began to growl and Hiruzen decided to head off an argument, "Kurenai-san, this isn't the first time you have complained about young Naruto's traps. How about we settle this issue once and for all."

Kurenai nodded, "I feel that his traps are unprofessional and reflect badly on Konoha. Uzumaki-san is also a bad influence on young Genin, giving them the impression they can do what they want, without consequences."

The Hokage stared at the young Jounin for moment as he took a puff on his pipe, "Are you aware, Yuhi-san that I knew about Naruto-kun's traps from the beginning?" he paused seeing a shocked look cross across the woman's face, "The traps had a purpose beyond merely being a way to screw with young Genin. They were meant to be a way to increase a Genin's ability to face unexpected odds. I will admit that the boy goes a bit overboard at times, but there is a purpose behind it all. Yet, you have allowed your team to consistently fall for the traps, despite being a tracking squad. Finally about the boy's attitude, it is a sad fact that every strong shinobi, in the history of the Elemental Nations, has had their odd quirks."

Kurenai took a moment to glance at Kakashi, who merely waved at her with an eye smile as he read his porn. Reluctantly admitting that face, "Really his attitude isn't as bad as others under my command."

Finally Hiruzen came to a decision, "Your teams will be allowed to take the Exams, however, if any of your team members dies during the Exams, then the team's sensei shall be replaced. Teams that survived whole shall be re-evaluated to see if there has been any viable improvement since they graduated, beyond clan techniques."

Kurenai winced, knowing that she would likely be in trouble when the re-evaluations came up, "As you say, Hokage-sama."

Each of the Jounin nodded and quickly left, in order to finish preparing their Genin for the Exams.

Over in the dark corner, Hiruzen could see Naruto pouting, "Did you really have to tell them about the other reason for the traps, Hokage-jiji. It's never as fun when they know the secondary reason."

Sarutobi sighed, "I was getting tired of the complaints from the Jounin sensei Naruto-kun and since I know you wont stop, it was the easiest way to get them off my back."

Naruto waved his hand lazily as he began to leave, "Ya, ya. I'm gonna go get ready for the Exams, you know how to reach me if you need me!"


End file.
